My Blog - Exotic Flamengo

it has been a long time i havent update my old blog.. im retiring from blogging i guess..
Anyway, it has been almost a year i wrote all the memoirs of me..
neway, really excited for events to come .. Bakal pengantin baru, to deary Siti & Jamarl ….Cik Mazlina & Wen .. with love.. congratulations

(^_^)

Part time..

06-05-06, Saturday..

The Curve’s bazzar. this is the place where i did my part time first time a help lend to my sis with upah. .. Was not really good in sales, thats why i asked someone to accompany me, my business partner ;-).. This was my sis’s kedai.  She’s selling the home deco stuff like table runner, cushion cover, table cloth, Victoria Secret Perfume & Lotion, etc..So, (PROMOTE).. anyone, who loves decorating ur home, then, this is the place to shop..

Along the day, one topic came out by my business partner.. EXPRESSION vs EXPRESSIONLESS.. Are people with expression better than people without expression? Of course people with expression better because people can see clearly the message is conveyed.  But are they being truth? When you say something, they just node ur head, with sweet smile, repeating what ur saying, feeling themselves luvly.. but do they perceived? Whilst the one expressionless.. they act like they don’t listen, but sometimes somehow, they trying to find to solution for you even they can’t get it right away, but they keep trying..they are the one who actually listen to u.. in fact, they just can’t sleep whenever you tell them, the words u throw to them, they just need time to think.. and even, sometimes what ur saying is not what u meant last time, then, they just keep it quiet and continue listen.. they want to argue, but they argue in their heart, they want to respond but they just keep in for while, because sometimes, the word just cant come out from their mouth, eyes and expression… There are people play with emotion, and there are people born emotionless.. just accept the fact.. people are not perfect..

But why are u being EXPRESSIONLESS? There are reasons:-
- when someone critisize u.. u have right to be expressionless, some people hard to accept criitics.. it just makes them feel down.. so by do nothing, at night, they will think, am i?
- when u dont want to start arguement and blame people and bring ur past.. so expressionless is important
- when u feel u r not important…  example, ur bf said , he really busy, do this do that .. (u feel u r not important to them anymore like u have been bugging him all this while).. for you it clearly meant.. give me a break!
- when u feel down.. expressionless… when u feel sad.. when people  tell how wonderful their life is, good job, good family, have good boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, dapat bonus, get this and that.. while u.. u got nothing…. so being expressionless is important rather than, just noded ur head and pretend happy hearing all that.. while ur heart just crushing apart.. it is not that u dont want to listen, it just, it will demotivate u.. some people, they dont get the motivation that easy.. so, before u open ur mouth, just becareful, whether the expressionless guy is in the mood or not..

Looking at the bright side..there are reasons for something, if u know ur partner better you’ll know.  It is not being expressionless is good, but some people is better to be expressionless. Just give time to know each other better and time to make changes. If it annoys you too much, then.. go and find the people with expression.. Because sometimes, its tiring to know u r not good at this and that.. and its tiring when u feel u not good in everything.. if you want to drop everything of just because being expressionless .. ???…

      
Last nite, after i’ve done with my work, the DMS thingy.. i just can’t sleep, lots of things wandering in my mind.. work, family, him.. and all around me.. woman do get emotion instability each month.. but me, every week ;-(   it keep me to think unrasionally..

April not for me.. bye bye april.. May to come.. i could not sleep last nite.. just lay back on my bed, then i flip through my cleo september 2005.. im just flipping through because i really need motivation to go on, physically, mentally… in cleo, there are many sections that will capture u.. fashion, about relation, about career… just name it.. lots of tips there.. and when im flipping through, my eyes catch on this article.. after reading through, im blank..

haha.. really help alot.. haha.. help me to sleep.. its 1.00 am .. then need to zzzzz… a new day to come.. God, please help me and be with me.. [-o<  …

i wonder how it feels like when you’re still studying at the age of 26, well early 26 hmm ok ok 25 years 5 months.. meaning still studying at any institution full time.. can u still catch up? can u still submit your homework@assignment on time? can you not fall asleep while your lecturer mumbling? huhu.. well if you got the guts then you can.. simple as that..

I left school for 2 years now and really missing the times.. Working in my company as my first job taught me alot in these 2 years.. even im not in a MNC.. a gah company but for second thought it is worthed.. it taught me to never stop learning and till now and i still have the goosebumps for the "promising" work by mid 2007.  Can i achieve it? I ask myself,  is this what i want? am i going to proceed? is this really build my career path? People perhaps wondering.. what i do for living.. this is where it started..

Im purely grew up in Taman Melati.. i was educated in Taman Melati & Gombak. My first school.. my kindergarten .. hmm somehow feel malu to tell, but well it was around Taman Melati. Some of my frens mostly sekolah kat tadika yang GAH nama nya.. but me, taman melati was a very low cost of living kind of place.. and the range of population comes from the government servant. I started my kindergarten year when i was 5 years old, i joint with my sister, being a cerdik lil girl was not really in me.. rather, noty.. haha.. but my sis was the bright one.. she’s good at everything and anything she does.. well admire her.. but a bit snob la, ye la anak sulung ;-).. i found that, this is the criteria which anak sulung has.. haha.. hmm nak jadi Fadzilah Kamsah. haha anak kedua plak.. hmm degil bukan main.. hehe thats fact..

Taman Melati, the place where i grew up.. Last time, you can only see some of the flat houses, green hill, then, terrace houses, apartment, town house and the latest, kondos.. thats really a evolvement for Taman Melati..  26 years in Taman Melati, lots of change.. plus LRT, high ways, schools; primary & secondary, clinic, just name it, kedai 2 ingit pun ada.. tapi ATM tak ada la, dia tak menggalakkan orang Taman Melati boros..

All the school years, it taught me somehow.. even i must confessed i was not so serious and appreciate the studies during the school time, but i learnt now and i’m ready to re-pay the debts.. even, i struggled during my ‘Uni’ time, i was not willing to learn seriously..only for GPA and pride.. to appreciate things, but after i left UIA, i realized how rugi i am that time.. the struggle is unforgiven.. then when start my working life.. it just a revenge for me.. being a so so student, it was my first stepping point and i know there are lots to learn.. there are times i feel useless but i tried to overcome.

Am my working life worthwhile? First start, im not really confident what i do in life. As first job, once u step in, you’ll end up to be in it forever.. even here and there u stuck up what u going to be.. but if u serious for what you do then you’ll get the glory.  As i first step in SKALI, i was trained to be  a programmer, then..few months later i appealed for another post because i just can’t be a programmer, kalau sesuka or part time then can la…. a programmer must be commited, not "rule-breaker", rajin, focus etc.. and it just not me, i must say it, really salute those programmers, SAs, application engineer, web master, programmer analyst all those in programming field..you guys are the bomb.. i aint do it myself..  it does not speak to my soul. even i had tried but it just it..but part time can la.. GOOD JOB guys..

I realized myself into writing, just luv to write.. i wrote diary since i was 12 years old. .. obviously, not sure i end up to be a writer.. it is more than a writing.. thats my vision.. i just want to be more than a writer.. currently i fit into this technical communication thingy..  Technical Writer.. yes i am… probably it sounds a bit slush.. but it is more than what you think.. a technical writer is not only a writer.. it is a noble job .. haha.. but i think i want more than be a technical writer.. i want to be a business writer, content writer, blog writer more and more.. a professional documenter to be.. thats one of my achieving list.. it sounds easy.. sometimes, people just make fun of it, aik belajar sampai dapat dean list end up jadi writer.. oh well… thats what i face.. i start it and i end it…end it with full of glorious..
can i?

thank God ada jugak programmer yang tak suka menulis.. sebab tu la ada post technical writer.. i am an intermediate person who communicate the system to the end user.. i have to understand the system, so have to know some coding, system understanding etc hmm.. interesting.. ke boring? haha… it just a way you put it to writing, not only that, im also responsible during the testing phase.. what i do? Test Script.. hmm simple ek? Training and Documentation phase.. deliver the requested docs.. but whats value added me? im figuring out.. i need to study. This is where i choose to be .. do a research and try value added myself.. target? all sort of documentation plus PR skilll haha.. thats better.. how? hmm try to figure out.. well my mission in life to do what people can do.. but that whats so arrogant statement rather ambitious.. do what i can do.. and i do best.. thats better..

I thought once you step into the working environment, u can pack all your books, no more studying late at night, no more datelines, no more and no more.. eventually, now.. it is more and more then ever.. responsibility is in your hand and it is your own effort to grab and grip. Ilmu pelita hidup. I know, life like me perhaps boring, but so far, i satisfy what i have and get. Just be thankful, hope better future more to come.. pray for me, and surely i pray for you.. Hope you get what you want at least, then start sketching your future now.. hmmm …………………………..

" Don’t live your life regretting what you did yesterday or the day before. The more that you regret something that you can’t change, the unhappier you will be. Make every experience (good or bad) a learning experience."

"Your past makes you into the person you are. Every obstacle that you’ve gone through has been put in your life for a reason. Any experience can be used to help someone else out. "

" Roads are filled with gravel, little stones that may trip or bruise you, just like in life. There are setbacks that will trip you, fall but stand up, for abrasions will heal. Setbacks are part of life; it comes as a package. Grit your teeth and continue walking."

" A great leader always say to his soldiers, ‘The cruelest enemy is not the one hiding behind the bushes, underneath the sand, deep in the sea or high in the air but the one that you always carry inside; and that is your fear’."

" Every achiever that I have ever met says, ‘My life turned around when I began to believe in me."

WHAT MATTERS IN LIFE(Author Unknown)

Some people understand life better

What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means
slowing down and changing our course.

My lovely sam soon..This was the korean movie that i watched lately up until the 20th episode.. the hillarious movie which me, my sis and my mom have been addicted to from 8.30 - 9.30pm and we laugh so and so much loud.. a movie which when you laugh you watch and when you laugh you think and when you laugh you cry… this is the movie..

this movie was about this girl, in her 30, single, chubby, pastry chef, unemployed but has a good spirit of herself. she really hates her name, sam soon because in history, there was a girl who commit suicide with this name.. hence, she just hate it..

after she has been dumped by a cute young guy, suddenly there was a rich, handsome, cute, also young guy she met. This guy was about 27 years old. at the first met, this guy offer sam soon to be his chef in his restaurant then sam soon agreed.

this guy has his own history, a long time ago, he involved in one accident and his brother and sis in law died that time. At the same time his girlfren run away to state because she got cancer.  So his life has been so mirable those day until he met sam soon. then, his mom urges him to marry and he found that sam soon was a perfect match for him to make his mom even anger and they both make a contract and in that time sam soon really needs money, so she agreed and there 50 juta won for sam soon for the agreement.

In short, at last they fall in love. there are certain part in this story where this guy needs to send his x-girl back to state and he promise sam soon that he will be going for 2 weeks but end up, he missing for 2 months..and along that time, sam soon suffered all the way and the touch moment is when she said… in malay la ek i translate.."bercinta ini memang memenatkan.. " she’s really tired in falling in love because at the end she suffered.. and there was a time, she read at the bill board saying;

bercintalah, seakan akan anda tidak pernah di lukai..
bekerjalah, seakan akan anda akan dinaikkan pangkat esok hari..
bergembiralah, seakan akan esok adalah hari terakhir anda..

from there, she starts living.. and after 2 monthss passed by, suddenly that guy came back to her life.. and sam soon said its over between them, she said he just leave her without anything, no postcard, no call and no nothing.. plus, her mom siap pi temple pray that nothing happen to this guy.. but the guy just let himself missing..

then, the guy said, he did sent poscards.. but sam soon never received. And after the big fight, suddenly there was a another strange guy send a full box of postcards to her house.. and true, the guy did sent postcard.. and each and every place this guy visited, he write to sam soon.. he taught traveling alone can make him relief from anything come across.. but every moment he walks, he only wants her beside.. thats was so touching..

then, they got back together and thats it… happily ever after kot.. hmm, i dont know how to comment, but the moment which sam soon said, love is very tiring.. and yeah it true.. love is very very tiring.. because you dont know whether he felt the same way as you do.. and you dont know whether he accepts you as you are.. and love become more tiring when there is a gap between you.. and masa will merubah segalanya…

and what i like about sam soon is that she has a good spirit of herself. Regardless of how chubby but cute she are, she try to winwin the situation and she got what she dream and she go for it.. yeah, be real, but something that you can turn to real..and it is all about her dream man.. hmm probably it just a simple story line, but actually there are lots of makna tersirat when you watched and when you’re in that situation you will know when you cant really express in your words, writing, action and gesture, it just what you felt and you want him feel the same way you did. It is not the matter of whom you are about to choose, it is the matter of how you value your relationship, and how you accept the "crackpot" between you…and how you always feel great about yourself when you fall in  love..

25-4-2006, Tuesday..

yummy, makan makan again, this time, at rome pizza.. just celebrate after the project signed off. quite a few are there, sharul, raschit, kak hajar, kak faizah, shara, norazam.. hmm makan pizza again.. Wednesday will be out from town and weekend i think need to go back to kampungs.. just a plan since 1st May kita cuti.. need to visit my old granpa and aunties.. wait for me Parit ****** (depicted dont cry for me Argentina.. wait for me Argentina… can laa…)
Pray for the best for the days ahead!

tapi tak ada pics… maleh nak amik..

24-4-2006, Monday..

Lovely day, even it called Monday Blues… but not this week.. hehe a treat by bos and by someone need to flight to brunei. huhu

Yummy, a treat from our bos.. California Pizza Kitchen..it was my first time eat at this place, KLCC at 2nd floor i guess. oh well..walla.. superb.. i think for pizza and salad lovers.. this is your place..  for 8 people, 2 pan of pizza and some other side orders..it just make your life like heaven.. hehe.. ye la tu.. not to forget..gain couple kilos a nice sweet & sour sausage pizza, white pizza, fetucini (what ever it spelled), hamas aka roti nan hahaha, bbq salad, garlic bread and ice cream, it just make ourselves full..again, thanks to Bos and team for that makan makan.. yummies…! until we meet in October..  thumbs up! petang tu plak, makan float.. thanks for the treats ..

Saturday, 15-04-06
First session class started.. hmm still wink wink.. improved? hmm not yet? hmm a happy time to spend with and to be with..
Hehe.. somewhere.. then watch futsal.. urgh.. hmm.. terror nyer… tapi i still rasa Mr R adalah the best player, jgn marah!.. best player for rembatan jarak jauh @ best dress Mr S hahaha.. best pak lawak @ best kapten.. Mr H.. best lari lari anak @ best post.. Mr J.. hmm itu aje kot.. itu aje yang i kenal..but really miss futsaling.. shara……..bila nih, bola dah mengempis tu… i letak kat luar rumah, kena gigit ngan tikus nanti.. uwaa..siti, meha, any other girls, mari la kita bersukan.. ahahaa…good for your health, body, mind and soul..

Sunday, 16-04-06
Ad hoc plan.. walking and heading to KLCC then.. met hiSyam with his gurl.. and then what movie they watched? lucky number slevin.. then.. hmm ok.. lets watch Lucky no slevin.. then..ok right on..lucky no slevin.. then, sit, eat pop corn then, bang here bang there here there.. poning.. then josh harnet.. eh josh harnet ek? ye ke.. tak kot, apasal lain.. ehehe.. josh harnet daa.. uhuhu.. six pack aik.. no no 4 pack ajer.. jgn jeles.. better have something then nothing.. haha.. then lets heading to PC fair.. drizzling.. hmm romantic ke? .. lari lari anak.. then, beratur, pack giler.. 3 floor to go.. then, wandering.. hmm pack of people really crowded.. then, the last stop (last level).. fall into USB then mouse..nice AMD beg to bring home.. huhu.. share ok, this week i pakai and next week yours.. ahaha.. then, went out, stop at avenue K and drink.. then.. go back.. The pack and great weekend to spend with after a long miss-out moments. And it just it, april somehow is for me.. plus savvy dah sihat getting better…. huhu…

"Advice from someone who understands: When in doubt, close your eyes and just remember that God does everything for a reason. And as hard as that seems to believe, he does. With the faith you have in him, nothing can stop you; you will make it because of the faith you carry with you."

First Session

Date: 16th April 2006
Day: Sunday
Venue: Damansara

Synopsis: This module started when second met Mr Wan Abdul Razak, and i saw something in him which his junior(s) don’t have. ;-).. Then, i’ve begin to initiate something for the benefits of his junior, son, reader and to whom it may concern… not to compare ok..(It just a sharing, don’t take it personally, only the specific person should!) The first met was only the beginning, hi bye and a little smile. Then, the second met started unexpectedly. He gave me ideas. He began to talk about house, thats truly..what a woman really wants.. haha..learn from that. Then, vacation! wow… hmm.. nice to hear.. Then, i knew a little more to dig out.. and little by little .. there are surely something good to share with ..

This is the article i’ve found out sort of useful for readings, but a bit complicated. To make it simple, just join the class..DONT miss. 6-month crash course. haha.. make it a lite reading.. first reading material..

Summary:
1. Don’t talk about your girl saving or discuss about financial with your girl, no 50-50.. haha
2. Invite her in anything, e.g when you eat, or plan for vacation, dont wait your father to invite her
3. ……… i’ll add later in the course outline..